Star Trek Jokes

Light Bulb Jokes — Klingons

How many Klingons does it take to change a lightbulb?
TWO: One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all of the credit.

How many Klingons does it take to change a lightbulb?
NONE: Klingons aren’t afraid of the dark.

What do the Klingons do with the Klingon who replaces the bulb?
Execute him for cowardice.

What do the Klingons do with the dead bulb?
Execute it for failure.

Light Bulb Jokes — Other Species

How many Vulcans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Approximately 1.00000000000000000000000000000000

How many Borg does it take to change a lightbulb?
All of them!

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

James T. Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

Mr. Scott: ‘Cos ma wee transporter beam was na functioning properly. Ah canna work miracles, Captain.

Dr. McCoy: Dammit Jim!! I’m a doctor not a farmer!

Mr. Spock: Obviously, it was the logical thing to do.

Mr. Data: Why is a barnyard fowl crossing a thoroughfare humorous?

Mr. Worf: For the honor of all chickens.

Counselor Troi: I knew it was going to happen. I could sense it.

Computer: Insufficient information.

Variations:

Why did the Klingon cross the road?
To conquer the other side.

Why did the Borg cross the road?
Because it assimilated the chicken!

Borg T-Shirt Slogans

Sam of Borg I am, and I will not assimilate green eggs and ham!

The Borg are coming! Quick, try and look useless.

The Borg: Calm, Cool and Collective.

Random Jokes

What does a Romulan frog use for camouflage?
A croaking device.

Mr. Spock: “What is the formula for PI?”
Chekov: “Er… apple or blueberry, sir?”

McCoy: “I’ve borrowed Mr. Scott’s bagpipes.”
Kirk: “But you can’t play them.”
McCoy: “While I’ve got them, neither can he!”

McCoy: “Do you serve crabs here?”
Mess officer: “We serve anybody. Sit down.”

What do you call it when two science officers are having an argument?
Science Friction.